This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
