Moan for me like Helen Keller
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
