I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Pappa wants mamma naked
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
where are my eyebrows?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
