I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
