I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
