ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
