So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
