whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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