im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
