I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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