If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
