Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
