well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
