i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
