Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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