Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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