So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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