I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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