hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
