No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
