actually, I'm a sock model
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
