Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
