She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
