Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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