Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
