Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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