How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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