The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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