Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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