and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
