i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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