he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
