Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
