I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
