I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize
