she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The adults are the big ones right?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
