my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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