does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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