after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
