Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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