escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have peed in a lot of sinks
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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