He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
