"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My bed smells like the plague
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
