He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Its about making memories worth repressing
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
