Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
