Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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