I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
