Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
please don't ironically join a cult
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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