So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
