I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
