dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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